Forgiveness is a quality that is both truly vital and terrifyingly unattainable without God. I’m sure all of us have good intentions at one point or another; I know that we all long to forgive because that means that the hurt is in the past, that we are solid and unmovable, that our worth isn’t based on what someone has done to us or said to us that put a crack in our foundation. Yet, we show our frailty and humanness when we are unable to forgive.
The word “forgiveness” has been resonating with me a lot lately. Echoing in my mind; maybe because I so desperately desire it and need it, maybe because I so desperately need to give it.
I am an icky human being with faults and frailties and visible infractions. I am imperfect and make mistakes that are completely unforgivable. But these things are not unforgivable to God, only unforgivable to man, which makes my desire for God and to be like God grow even more.
There is a standard that everyone has in their minds for what is good and what is acceptable. I agree that this standard was made by God, and then adapted in human minds based off of circumstances, environmental influences and opinions. Nevertheless, the standard still stands. It’s funny that people have invisible standards that others are supposed to meet and if not met, the people are cast aside and thrown to the wind; yet, the offendee often feels that if they do not meet God’s “invisible standard” (which is not invisible, since He has articulated it), He should be “the bigger person” and forgive. That their actions shouldn’t emulate their imposed opinions of what they think God’s reactions should be.
This is where the dilemma begins. And here I see it more clearly.
If we have a standard that we are supposed to meet, but inevitably cannot meet, where is the meeting point? If God has created us with weakness and given light that in our weakness we are made strong through Christ, does this mean that we do not have to meet the standard? That we are doomed, indeed, if we try to meet the standard? For we can only try, and miss the mark, again and again. Thus, never being worthy of God’s forgiveness.
If we are only strong in our weakness with Jesus, does this mean that He is actually the One meeting the standard for us? And that it is by grace that we are enough? That through our imperfections, God is given more glory, because He is shown faithful when we are not. And in this sense, we are given forgiveness as much as we are able to forgive.
If there is a man who owes a lot of money, and there is a man who owes a little money, who is more grateful for the debt forgiven? Of course the man who has the bigger debt. And in turn, naturally this man will be more willing to forgive other debts that are owned to him, since he was never worthy or able to pay off his own. But consider if he were stingy and angry about others who did not repay their debts; wouldn’t the first Forgiver be angry upon knowledge that although He forgave this large debt, yet the first man was unable to forgive as well? So then, he will be forgiven less. (Abridged, Luke 7:36-50)
I am a debtor. And I ask God to forgive my debts as I forgive my debtors. May the Lord grant me the forgiveness I extend, but may He understand my humanity and grant me the grace to forgive, for I cannot do it. I cannot meet this standard either without His nudge.
‘When they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.“‘ John 8:7-11
Praise be to God, our Forgiver!
